Have I ever mentioned that self awareness can throw a bucket of cold water on you while lighting a fire under you at the same time?
On Monday, I was in a group call facilitated by Jayson Gaddis, a psychotherapist, men’s psychology expert, world-rocking coach, inspirational leader and general badass. I’m a part of the Men’s Leadership Training that he has been leading for the last six months, and this call was a firecracker under our entire group.
The part that I’m remembering the strongest at the moment was a question:
“What is your commitment?”
When I started this training, I had this very strange and nebulous concept of my commitment. Over time, this nebular concept has heated up and become a dense neutron star burning inside me. It lights me up when I’m feeling burnt out, and lights the way when I’m flying blind.
It’s taken me five months to reach a point of clarity – my commitment is to be my light.
I don’t care if it sounds New Age-y or unclear externally any more. This has crystallized inside me as powerfully as any Burning Question ever has.
To be my light means to embrace the hot, wild, intense, bright, passionate energy inside of me and let that shine through. To be my light means that I need to express where I am in the moment instead of figuring it all out out before I share. My light is my authenticity. It means shedding the shells and the masks and the safe havens and living a life of being.
I’m done asking permission to fuck up. I’m done asking permission to be messy. I’m done being in control of myself before I express what the hell is going on. I am done not trusting the love and acceptance that is offered to me.
I am ready to embrace myself, my power, and my courage, for they are my light. I am ready to embrace the ugliness, the darkness, the fear, the shame and the terror, for they are also my light.
Most of all, I want to sacrifice my ego in the service of my gifts. I want to surrender the pain, the fear and the uncertainty to the fires of my commitments.
This is my commitment. I commit to be my light. I will live openly, I will surrender, and I will risk in the face of fear.
What does any of this have to do with you, the inspirational reader of Grokkery?
First, it affects the message and the voice of this blog. I’ll be here with a fresh post every Monday, Thursday and Saturday. The change will be in authenticity. If my voice is feeling introverted and tired, I will bring that. If my truth is intense and inspiring, I will bring that.
Be ready.
Second, I challenge you to fuck up, to stop caring what others think, to dance and sing in a public place, to give your gifts instead of your fears, and to stop asking permission to live authentically.
We’re social creatures that crave acceptance and love, so we conform to the greatest common denominator. I’m asking us all to stop conforming our truths, and to start living them.
Will you join me?
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{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
Sure!!
jonathan, what does “shame is also my light” mean to you, exactly? i'd like to know more about that.
This sounds exciting! Can't wait to see the change this brings in the tone of your posts. You really can't go wrong with authenticity.
Glad to have you!
It goes together with the truth – if that is my experience and I am honestly expressing and sharing it, that can be light too. I've been learning that when you let people in when you'd rather not, there is power and grace there. That light of being doesn't go away when there is pain or shame in life, we just usually aren't able to see it in those moments because we close our eyes to it.
I look forward to bringing the best that I have to offer in the most authentic way possible
Can't go wrong with that!
Your light is beautiful, and strongest when it shines unfiltered.
There's also always a world of even greater love and acceptance to be attained when you are living a life of being, without a mask – because you inspire others to do the same. It' s just as hard for people to give from behind the mask as it is for others to receive from behind it.
I'm excited to see the world join in embracing all of its authentic selves.
Brilliant! Thank you so much for sharing this today, Jonathan. Mind if I share this with the Stir The Embers crowd?
Please do! How are things going at Stir The Embers?
Thank you for your constant support and belief. You inspire me.
Thanks for asking!
Stir The Embers is holding its first ever workshop this Saturday. I am both ecstatic and terrified! Ecstatic to finally be holding a workshop and getting the ball rolling and terrified that either a) no one will show up or b) everyone will show up!
This is really a “do or die” moment for us, but we've worked really hard and put together what I think is a valuable women's self-defense/empowerment workshop so I feel pretty positive about the outcome.
Jonathan,
This is a very motivating post. It is hard to break out of our shell and take action. I have recently been trying to embrace life in all it's form and fashion. This is really a growing experience and is taking much patience, but overall I feel that my energy level and “vibrations” toward life are a much higher frequency because of this.
Grok on Jonathan! Continue with peeling away layers of authenticity to reveal your light and your true self, it's such a pleasure to be on the journey with you…. oh, is it OK to dance and sing in a public place if there's no music???
Rock on Joe! Reading your comment has officially gotten the chorus of “Good Vibrations” stuck in my head
I was introduced to the idea of Pulse by a mentor – our lives are constantly expanding and contracting as a whole and in individual areas. The challenge I'm having is embracing and living the pulse when it's not as sexy. Glad to hear that your efforts have resulted in a higher frequency. I truly think that will be the result for me – I'm already noticing my presence and intensity going up.
PS. Love your site, and loved that both of our latest posts are about commitments. I'd love to do a guest post for you sometime!
Thank you for your presence on the journey Dale! I certainly enjoy your letters from my tastebuds and following your journey as well.
And as far as dancing and singing in a public place with no music… OF COURSE ITS OK! Make your own! Or as Everett suggested in his post I linked, bring your iPod and just sing and dance to that. As long as you can hear your music, does it really matter if anyone else can? Dance to your own rhythm
(This is really pretty inspirational to think about in a metaphorical sense as well … the whole beat of your own drum mantra)
Jonathan,
That would be great! Like wise about your site. Self-awareness is truly the essence of personal development, so I would love to be a part of your site. Let me know if you ever have any content to would like to share.
Jonathan,
That would be great! Like wise about your site. Self-awareness is truly the essence of personal development, so I would love to be a part of your site. Let me know if you ever have any content to would like to share.